Bits and Pieces

Day 14

2011-04-22T14:24:00.001-07:00

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Yep. This guy.

Day 13

2011-04-22T14:18:00.003-07:00

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Jars of Clay has always been my favorite band since I started playing contemporary music in high school. I got out my mom's guitar, my CD player and their songbook to their first album and strummed away for hours, completely intent on mastering the technique. 13 years later, I still follow them and buy every album. Good stuff.

Day 12

2011-04-22T14:12:00.001-07:00

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Yep. That's my guy.

Day 11

2011-04-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

I hate that so many children must grow up without parents.

It absolutely destroys me every time I think about it. I imagine what it would be like if Noah and Chloe lost their parents, and how vulnerable they would be to horrendous evil in the world. I can not imagine so many children having to survive alone... or fall.

I really look forward to the day our family will help rescue some of these children. And I REALLY hope more people will feel the call to open their families to the helpless. Without Christians having compassion on these young lives, they will become victims of untold evil, and all because we "didn't feel called to it."

EVERY Christian is called to care for orphans (James 1:27). Not just a select few of the "strong families," EVERY Christian, and we will be held accountable for what happens if we fail to be their rescuers.

If every Christian family adopted an orphan, there would be no orphans.

Think about it.

Day 10

2011-04-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the crazy things with.

Honestly, I'm not the craziest person, but I like to surround myself with people who are more exciting than I am, thereby increasing my coolness factor. Molly is one of those people. Molly's awesome, everybody likes her, and she can get away with anything ;-). I can't say that we've necessarily done anything crazy dangerous, but we've been in some exciting situations.

Everything's more fun with Molly!

Day 9

2011-04-16T15:03:00.000-07:00

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

My mom. What can I say?

I'm very glad I have a good relationship with my parents. Most women I know have some type of strained relationship with their moms, but we've always had a good one. She has come to take care of me more times than I can think of, even as an adult.

One of the things that makes a great parent is not only their abilities to enforce boundaries, but their ability to listen. Not only to their conscience, but to give their kids a chance to reason through right and wrong and come to their own conclusions.

She's a great mom, and I wish more kids had one like her.

Day 8

2011-04-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

Because this very accurately describes my son's personality.

Day 7

2011-04-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

Well, I don't really have a most treasured item, but I sure would be lost in a big way without this!

Day 6

2011-04-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

I would definitely love to trade places with Christy Nockels for a day. One of my absolute favorite places to be is at any Passion event, and to be able to tour and sing with that ministry would just be an amazing experience. Plus, her voice is pretty epic.

Day 5

2011-04-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

Top: The day we became a mommy and daddy for the first time.

Middle: Best wedding ever.

Bottom: Introducing baby Chloe to her big brother for the first time. Love at first sight!

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

Again, I can't think of my absolute favorite, so here are my top three.

Day 4

2011-04-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

Day 04 - A picture of your night.

I'm not exactly sure what this means, but here's what my nights usually end up looking like.

Isn't it good-looking? :-D

Day 3

2011-04-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

This one is really hard, so I'm posting a few.

Day 2

2011-04-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

Esther and Melinda have been my best friends since at least 1997. We were on a trip with our church youth choir in Ohio (I think) when we were at a lock in at a church we were visiting. I ended up getting food poisoning that night and spent most of it in an upstairs room on the couch. Esther and Melinda stayed with me all night, bringing me things to drink, but mostly just keeping me company. I was so grateful for the friendship, being very insecure as a young teenager and super embarrassed that I had become the "sick girl" on the trip.

Esther and Melinda have been my best friends ever since then. Through many life changes and competitions for our attention, we still pick up where we left off, no matter how long it's been in between. We text each other just asking for prayer, and I know that no matter where they are that day, they are praying. Even without knowing what for, they are praying. You can't buy friends like that for all the rubies in the world.

I love these girls, and I'm so glad they've been such a support to me. Helping me laugh, commiserating when the world isn't fair, and encouraging me to push harder to accomplish goals. They were my maid and matrons of honor in my wedding, and we will always be friends, even with hundreds of miles or relentless schedules in the way.

Day 1

2011-04-08T11:21:00.001-07:00

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

1. I love coffee. Not too strong, not too sweet. Just on the higher side of warm, with a smokey edge that reminds me of when I was younger and started to drink coffee. I felt so grown up, like this was what the taste of being an adult was like. Coffee always makes me feel more secure and responsible. Probably why I drink so much when I'm working ;-)

2. I'm the oldest of 5 kids, and the second oldest of all 22 first cousins (so far).
My family is enormous, and I'm not even getting into the 2nd & 3rd level cousins which are a result of my grandma being the 7th of 15 kids in her family.

3. I love my husband Ben more than I can describe. I think he is the coolest, smartest, and most potential-filled man I know, and I am super proud of how hard he works, mostly because he works so hard to take care of people. He chose a profession so he could get angry for the right reasons, speak for those who can't speak, and take advantage to teach people when they are at a moment of openness. I love him a lot.

4. I have the cutest, smartest kids ever. Not just in my personal opinion. It's a proven fact ;-) Noah could speak in full sentences and knew his alphabet by 2, could read at 3, and can memorize almost everything he hears. Chloe is a little spunky firecracker. She laughs at almost everything her big brother does, carries on conversations like we've been the best girlfriends for years. I'm very excited that she's going to grow into such a spirited little woman, and Noah will probably cure cancer or save the world.

5. I love soda. It's not about the caffeine either, it's just about the carbonation. I know every singing teacher will tell their students not to drink soda, but it actually clears and relaxes my throat to sing.

6. I love jeans, and flip flops, and oversized sweatshirts. Lucky me, I can usually pull my "artist" card and get away with it. Don't get me wrong, I like to dress up too. No matter how lazy I'm feeling, I take a shower, do my hair and put on make up.

7. I love to take pictures and be artistic. I almost went the route of majoring in art in college, but I chose not to because I wanted to go to a school that didn't offer that as a major yet. I loved to paint and draw, but sadly, those need space and materials, and an attention span longer than a gnat. Thank the Lord digital photography was invented!

8. I love action movies and intensely intellectual movies. I loved Inception, the Prestige, Sherlock Holmes, and other movies with surprise endings. Any suggestions?

9. I love leading worship. I really don't care if it's for 5 or 5,000 people. Full band or only me. I love the unity that happens when we sing the same words, with the same breathing pattern, to the same melody. Voices joined together with the intent purpose of praising the God who made us. I would call it magical, but it's infinitely more than that.

10. I love to cook. I'm pretty good at it too, but I look forward to the day that I have a little more room to do my whole Paula Deen thing. :-)

11. I have the spiritual gift of exhortation, which basically means that in given moments, God gives me the ability to speak truth to people. To listen closely, build relationships, encourage people through struggles, and give warnings. I love when that happens because that only the Holy Spirit is the one who can give me those words to say and when to say them. I love the Lord because he hears my prayers.

12. I can crack almost every joint I have. Just a random fact.

13. I live with an incessant fear of not being enough. I know everybody deals with insecurities, but that's mine. I fear not being organized enough, not being smart enough, not being talented enough, not being pretty enough, not being godly enough, not being content enough, and not being resourceful enough. Just one hard way God makes it obvious that I can't do anything without Him.

14. I almost only wear solid colors, mostly because it's easier to match things that way.

15. I really really want to adopt at some point. If every Christian family adopted one orphan, we would have no orphans. Yes, it's a big commitment, but if you think of the alternative (a child without parents to care for them, vulnerable to only God knows what sorts of evil), it is a simple choice. "This is true and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, Jesus Christ: to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world." It's not just a cool idea; we were saved so we could save others.

60 Day Photo Challenge

2011-04-08T11:17:00.000-07:00

I have been quite inspired by this 60 Day photo challenge my friend Molly has been doing. One of my favorite things is taking pictures. This will be a lot of fun to share.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of your night.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the crazy things with.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of your day.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.
Day 31 - A picture of a tradition you have.
Day 32 - A picture of a crazy night.
Day 33 - A picture of the house you grew up in.
Day 34 - A picture of your currently most played CD.
Day 35 - A picture of your favorite place to eat.
Day 36 - A picture of your ‘other half'.
Day 37 - A picture of the people you spend most of your time with.
Day 38 - A picture of the best part of your day.
Day 39 - A picture of your favorite movie.
Day 40 - A picture of your favorite Disney character.
Day 41 - A picture of your pet.
Day 42 - A picture of your dream house.
Day 43 - A picture of something you can’t function without.
Day 44 - A picture of someone you’re told you look like.
Day 45 - A picture of your room.
Day 46 - A picture of where you wish you were right now.
Day 47 - A picture of your favorite place to shop.
Day 48 - A picture of your favorite actress/actor.
Day 49 - A picture of where you live.
Day 50 - A picture of your most frequented place.
Day 51 - A picture of your dream car.
Day 52 - A picture of your favorite sport.
Day 53 - A picture of someone you think is hot.
Day 54 - A picture of the one thing you would bring if you were stranded on a deserted island.
Day 55 - A picture of the last movie you saw in theaters.
Day 56 - A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 57 - A picture of your favorite holiday.
Day 58 - A picture of your favorite animal.
Day 59 - A picture of a random item that you own.
Day 60 - A picture of something you’re excited about

Favorite Things

2011-03-15T11:08:00.000-07:00

I've been interested in going back to my classical roots lately, so here are a few of the sweet arrangements I'm into right now:

Simple Gifts

Now, this video is pretty awesome too.
Clair de Lune

Bach's Cello suite #1

My college a capella choir, LU Chamber Singers: "Secut Cervus"

2011 Resolutions!

2011-01-06T07:47:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm a list person.

I need lists to supplement my less than awesome memory.
I need lists to keep logistical priorities straight in my day.
I need lists to inspire me to keep going.

So, I'm not going to be one of those people (this year) that says "I'm not going to make any resolutions because I always break them" because this year I am not going to break them, because God will help me reach goals that bring Him glory.

So here we go:

1. I will read 10 books. Since I have finished college, my intention was to take that time spent doing school work every evening to read good books by men and women who love God and want to inspire others to love Him more as well. I teach and do a lot of serving, which results in my feeling very spent most of the time. But, as Andy Stanley told us at Passion, God's will for your life is that He be the one to fill your cup, and then it's your responsibility to pour that into someone else's cup so God can fill us again.

2. I will lose another 30 lbs. Yes, I'm going to do it. One way or another!

3. Read the Bible all the way through. I-268 has challenged our group to read the Bible through in either 90 days, or 1 year. I know I can't do 90 days, but I have read the Bible through a few times, and it's the living Word, so it is always incredible!

4. Write an album's worth of songs. Not that it will get recorded or produced this year, but simply that they get written.

So... I've set my goals. What are yours?

Just about me.

2010-11-30T23:57:00.000-08:00

If you know me very well, I love to express things, but I usually don't get very deep with what I really think about myself. I guess I don't like to go there because I have a deep inferiority complex that has plagued me since I was very young.

Most people don't believe me (now) when I tell them that I used to be very painfully shy when I was younger. Right about the age I started to be aware of boys was when I decided I was simply afraid of them, and what other people thought of me, in general. I was so terrified of looking stupid or being embarrassed that I would just forgo friends my own age almost entirely. I was very happy with spending time staying near adults and listening to their conversations than to run the risk of not being accepted by peers. Hanging out with adults gave a lot of people the impression I was more mature than other kids, but it was more my fear of anyone disapproving of my behavior.

One day early in college I had the blessing of getting to listen to Beverly LaHaye speak. She was extremely elderly, but what she said deeply affected me. She told the packed audience at the woman's conference at Thomas Road about her deep shyness as a young woman, and how that affected her as a wife of a pastor. She was plagued with the 'expectations' that come with being a pastor's wife, yet she would simply chalk up her lack of involvement to her introverted personality.

She then explained that after years of insecurity, God made something plain to her. Her shyness was a sin. Yes, I said SIN... She said she realized she had not been living like she believed that God's strength was enough. She was not living like she believed God's command to go into the world and proclaim the Gospel. After all, how can one proclaim the Gospel with confidence while living with fear? How will others ever know that God loves them while we claim "I just don't do things like that. It's not me."

It IS me. I AM who God SAYS I am. If I am redeemed by his blood, and I am filled with His Holy Spirit, it is a sin for me to withhold my compassion, friendliness, empathy, and joy from others. The only reason God did not take me home at the moment I was saved was so that I would bear witness to the Light. Hiding it under my bushel basket because I'm not comfortable is telling God that I don't believe He is who He says He is. It is also a waste of my life here on earth.

That totally changed the way I looked at people. Yes, I had gone through much of life feeling like I would just be happy by myself... just me and God. I convinced myself I didn't need lots of friends, and I didn't even need to get married. But I realized that was selfish. How many times had I had that conversation with myself, only ever mentioning what I needed, rather than what hurting people needed FROM me?

So... here's a little about me. It may not come up in conversation, but it's what I've got.

I AM … a workaholic.
I WANT… to save orphaned children.
I HAVE... too much stuff.
I KEEP … lots of To Do lists.
I WISH I COULD … give money to anyone or any ministry who needed it, whenever the opportunity arose.
I HATE... unforgiveness.
I FEAR ... the dark. And not being able to protect people I love.
I HEAR... everything. Usually too much.
I DON'T THINK … I will ever feel adequate for my responsibilities.
I REGRET … not loving people more.
I LOVE … my children's sweet faces.
I AM NOT … but I know the "I Am."
I DANCE … while cleaning, when I daydream about my childhood in ballet lessons, wishing I could just twirl and always feel beautiful.
I SING … all the time.
I NEVER … get a good night's rest.
I RARELY … have my act together.
I CRY WHEN I WATCH … anything having to do with orphans or hurting children.
I AM NOT ALWAYS … as blunt as I want to be.
I HATE THAT … I always feel like I'm wasting time.
I'M CONFUSED ABOUT … what the depth of my role should be in politics.
I NEED … God. With every stitch of my being.
I SHOULD … go to bed earlier!!

Who can you bless today?

Vicky Beeching's 10 Things

2010-11-25T10:46:00.000-08:00

Now that I have a little more responsibility than before in worship leading, I'm looking for all the good advice I can get from people who are doing it WELL. Here's a blog post from world renown songwriter and worship leader Vicky Beeching. I LOVE it.

**********************
I’ve been leading worship since I was about 13. Now I’m 31. Looking back, there are SO many things I wish someone had told me or taught me back then, that it’s taken years to learn. Here are my Top 10!

1. Open your eyes and connect!

I was trained to lead worship with my eyes clamped shut, and without saying a single word to the congregation. Allegedly this was to make the worship leader ‘invisible’ so I wouldn’t ‘get in the way’ of them connecting with God. Nowadays I think this is simply baloney! God has always used PEOPLE. The Bible clearly shows this. Paul said “follow me as I follow Christ”. God has always used living people, with faces, names and personalities to lead. I think it’s important that when you lead worship you open your eyes, at least for the few couple of songs in the set, so that people sense a CONNECTION between you and them. Who wants to follow someone they don’t connect with/resonate with? No one! Having your eyes open at the start shows that you are aware of what’s happening in the room, rather than just diving into your own little world with God. Worship leaders need to be pastors, and care that all the ‘sheep’ in the room are doing ok. You can’t do that unless you are looking. I’ll often close my eyes a few songs in, once I know everyone is ‘on board’. But don’t be afraid to smile at people as you start the set. I like to introduce myself and even talk a little about my story if I’m in a new church. Help the people trust you and connect, then you’ll find them wanting to follow you more!

2. Don’t let busyness swallow up your time with God

In the early days of leading worship you wish you were busier, wish you could lead more people, wish you could travel further and impact more lives. Then when it all speeds up, suddenly you wish you were less busy and could stay home more! Build patterns on time with God into your life when your worship leading is in it’s infancy. Then keep those patterns when things hot up. Never let your time leading on a public stage eclipse what’s going on with you and God behind closed doors. Some kind of Bible reading plan is priceless if you want to stay in the Bible every day. Life gets chaotic when you are on a tour bus, or constantly flying places, always in a different hotel. Build habits early on, and make that time with Jesus your lifeline.

3. Keep getting training in your craft

I had piano lessons from age 6-11, then gave up. I regret it as I didn’t learn the music theory that would help me now. I self taught myself the guitar from the age of 13 but never had any voice lessons back then, and never consistently had guitar lessons. My advice would be to always have music lessons as much as possible, for your entire life! There is so much more to learn. Voice lessons will help your vocals stay healthy for the long haul. I try to have the ocassional guitar lesson now and then…and some singing tuition. I think building these things in regularly would be a fantastically beneficial idea.

4. Read, read, read!

I had to read SO many books at Oxford University that it made my brain frazzled! These days I read so few books in comparison to then. But whenever I do read great books I see the results in my creativity, my lyrics and ministry. Great books are like water to the soul. They will be your teachers. Ask people you respect for their top 10 book list and devour them. The day you stop getting input, is the day your output will begin to dry up. Don’t let busyness choke up your time or ability to read as a way of getting input into your life and soul!

5. “Do more with others and less alone” (a quote from Chuck Swindoll that I heard via my friend John Saddington)

I’m by nature an introvert. I thrive on alone time. I prefer to write songs and prepare worship sets alone. My friendship circle is small and deep, rather than an extrovert’s which is usually wide and (maybe) less deep! I also struggle with being a bit shy (you wouldn’t guess that from seeing me on stage, but off stage it’s actually true). So all this has made me tend toward doing ministry without much collaboration. But over the years I’ve discovered that being part of a team is THE most fun and fulfilling way to do ministry. So it’s shifted me out of my natural introvert ways! Now I LOVE it and wouldn’t have it any other way! Unless we are surrounded by others and working together, it’s all a bit lonely and stressful. So find other like-hearted people, and begin collaborating by doing ministry together…co-leading, co-writing, co-ministering. It makes it all WAY more fun, the load is shared and you have people to share the experience with.

6. Use a click track!

If you are using some kind of headphones for monitoring (hearing yourself), then you could try using a click track. For those who aren’t familiar, a click track is a metronome that keeps you and the band at a specific tempo throughout the song. You run it into your ears, so only you and the band hear it, and the crowd does not. I started using a click track when I moved to the States, and it does wonders for keeping the band together, on tempo. It also takes lots of pressure OFF the worship leader, as without one we are the ones trying to set the tempo with our lead instrument (e.g. strumming in time for the band to follow). With a click track (which my drummer runs from a laptop) I can just rest knowing that we are at the right tempo, and only strum when I need to. It will transform the overall professionality of the sound of your band.

7. Create a journey with your set list

My vision for a setlist is that it should be a journey. There should be a start, a middle and an end… a destination you are moving towards. I do this in tempo, by starting with faster songs and moving towards slow ones, sometimes then ending by moving to faster songs again. I do it thematically, by starting with songs about WHO God is and what He’s done, and moving towards songs of our response of love to Him. I do it musically, by choosing some songs that are in the same key, so that part of the set will transition seamlessly together, so that people can get ‘lost’ in the moment without the jolt of starting a new song in a new key. I also help the journey at points by sharing verses, stories or thoughts that will help people engage. I spend AGES planning set lists! I also like to run the whole set through by myself to check how the transitions between songs, keys and tempos feel.

8. Tune, tune, tune!

If someone is leading worship on guitar and their strings are out of tune, for me it’s one of the most distracting things possible! Invest in a great tuner (the Boss TU2 has become somewhat of a standard for worship leaders and I use and love mine). The Boss TU2 lets you tune with ‘lights’ so you can see in the dark whether you are sharp or flat. The pedal also works as a ‘mute’ so the crowd can’t hear you tuning. I try and tune right before I play (so I’ll get on stage before the pastor or MC has introduced me, and tune then). Then I’ll also try and tune at least once during my set if there is an appropriate moment when my keyboard player or electric guitar can fill the space with pads or atmospheric sounds. I’ll talk over the top, or pray over the top of those sounds, then at the same time hit my tuner and tune. It takes practice to be able to talk or pray at the same time as glancing down at the tuner and tuning, but it’s become invaluable!

9. Spend LOTS of time building relationship with your pastor, musicians, sound crew and volunteers.

(This may seem like a re-iteration of point no. 5… But that was a more general ‘do stuff with others’. This point is a very specific ‘build DEEP frienship with your small team’). It doesn’t matter how great your worship times might go… if you aren’t doing it in deep connection with the people you are serving with, then you might as well quit today! We are made to function as family, not as lone islands. If you are an introvert like me, then you don’t naturally lean towards being outgoing/calling people lots/hanging out all the time. But over the years I’ve grown more and more in this area, and am so glad I have! The more you get to know your team mates on a deep level, the better you’ll be together as a unit. The closer you are to the pastors leading your church, the more flow you’ll create between what happens when they preach and you sing. The better you know your musicians, the more effortlessly you’ll all ‘sync’ on stage. Always treat people with the care you would want to be treated with. Forgive quickly and generously knowing that it could be your mistake next and you’ll need that same grace back! Spend plenty of time socially, just ‘being’ with the people you serve with. If we’re not friends and comrades on the journey, then what’s the point?! We are made to be family, so invest in that! (Note: In cases with female/male staff relationships, we want to be smart and careful! So clearly this ‘deep’ friendship is to be done appropriately, with spouses involved in the friendship if you are married, and making sure everyone is properly accountable etc.)

10. Get rid of all sheet music and charts if possible

I led so differently once I got the hang of memorising my music and lyrics. It freed me up from staring at a music stand. These days I never have a music stand on stage, as I feel like it also acts as a physical barrier between me and the congregation. I like them to be able to see me and for me to be able to see them, as that brings about maximum connection. Try memorising the songs, and when you do, you’ll be freed up to look around the room and check everyone is ‘on board’, and you’ll be free to think more about God, the direction the worship set is going, and what God is saying to you. Memorisation takes practice, but it’s just like learning any skill, it comes with time. A good place to start is just deciding you won’t have a music stand anymore. Then panic sets in and you HAVE to learn the songs by heart!!

Hope these have been helpful.

Worship leaders – what would you add to the list?

Congregation members – what would you add to the list that you wish your worship leader WOULD or WOULDN’T do?!

Love

Vicky

Taken from VICKY BEECHING's BLOG

Be Thankful

2010-11-08T22:31:00.000-08:00

As we draw closer to Thanksgiving, I felt it appropriate to share what I am thankful for with those of you who actually take time to read sappy stuff like this ;-).

1. I am thankful for my husband. Ben is the smartest guy I know, the most determined guy I know, and the best looking guy I know ;-). I married him because I saw a wonderful drive to know Christ that wasn't based upon anybody around him or any circumstances. He just wanted more of Jesus, and it was something I wanted to be a part of. Almost 5 years later, we are still chasing after God together, and truly affecting our ministries better together than we did separately. I hope everybody who is still single finds a person they can say that about.

2. I am so grateful for my children. I know all parents love their kids, and think they're so cute, and so sweet, and so smart, but mine actually ARE awesome. Noah is so grown up and smart, I can hardly keep up with him. He is funny, and clever, and has an amazing memory, but he's still little enough to come ask if I will just cuddle with him for a while. I hope he never grows out of that.
Chloe is my little princess. She laughs at almost anything, has a deep desire to explore (and get into things she shouldn't), and is completely fearless. She's going to be my little firecracker as soon as the babble she shouts with deep conviction turns into arguments over whether she can have a cookie before (or after) dinner.

3. I'm thankful for our house. Yes, we were some of those who got caught in the sub prime mortgage crisis, and we are hopelessly upside down as it has lost more than 1/3 of it's value since we bought it. It's 990 square feet (the size of my apartment in college), but it's ours. God has been incredibly faithful to keep us able to make our payments, and have so far avoided any catastrophic problems with it. It's not much to look at, but God gave it to us, and we can't be kicked out at the whim of a landlord.

4. I'm thankful for our church. Mount Ararat has meant the world to me since I started getting involved back in 2003. I had such a hard time leaving my prior church that it took me a long time to invest anywhere else. But, there I learned about the importance of serving, and by switching my view of church from just participant, to giving my time and talents, God taught me more about myself and developed more in me than I ever even dreamed was there. God truly took my few pennies and multiplied them. I am humbled down to the floor every time I get the chance to watch a life being changed, simply because I am sitting at the right angle. Sometimes it's as obvious as leading worship and watching the faces of people giving their lives to Christ as Pastor Todd calls them to respond, and sometimes it's in watching the life of someone I get to disciple take on their challenges and come out the other side stronger in Christ. Those are things I can't ever take direct credit for, and I LOVE it.
If not for the amazing fellowship and nurturing I have received there, I would never have met Ben, started leading worship, or been involved in young adult ministry. My life would be 100% different if not for Mount Ararat.

5. I'm thankful for God's love. This has been a rough week for me, and just a rough few years in general. Trying to finish college, raising two kids, a dog who doesn't get enough exercise, a tiny house (that I can never seem to keep clean), while trying to support my entrepreneurial pursuits of music and photography, and a husband's job status that gives me whiplash from time to time, while just simply trying to make ends meet in an economy that is upside down...All of these things should make me want to give up and go to bed some days. But God is ALWAYS faithful. He truly gives us just what we need to get through TODAY. Tomorrow will take care of itself, but God has always provided for us, and we have decided as a family to keep being faithful to give sacrificially of what we have to show we believe that.

If you haven't sat down to make a list of the things you're grateful for and why, do it. ESPECIALLY if you're someone who doesn't see a whole lot to be thankful for right now.

In the words of Bing Crosby in White Christmas:

When you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep, counting your blessings

When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep, counting my blessings

Count your blessings, my friends.

Great Texts on Worship #5

2010-09-21T12:12:00.000-07:00

Great Texts on Worship #5 - Rev. Hughes Oliphant Old

By Rev. Hughes Oliphant Old

Acts 2:42 Acts 2:42 sums up very briefly what was included in the worship of the earliest Christian Church. It tells us that after the surprising events of Pentecost when several thousand people were baptized into the Church, "They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers" (Acts 2:42, RSV).

It was only a few days before Pentecost that Jesus himself had commissioned the Apostles, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them...and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you" (Matthew 28:19-20, NIV). That teaching was to be an essential part of the life of the Church was something that Jesus had directed them to do at a very significant moment in his time with them. In fact, as the Gospel of Matthew presents it, these were his parting words. It is hardly surprising that the first Christians gave a major portion of their time to the apostolic teaching and preaching. One gets the impression from Acts 6:1-6 that more was involved in the ministry of the Word than simply preaching and teaching. Following well established Jewish tradition, a good amount of time each week day was given to corporate study. At such times one would go over the traditions of Jesus, discuss their meaning, and commit them to memory. This was how the Apostles handed on the oral tradition of the words and works of Jesus.

While the teaching of the Apostles is fairly obvious, what about the fellowship of the Apostles? The Greek word used here is koinonia, which literally means "sharing," although most often it is translated as "fellowship." The word "fellowship" as we use it today has faded from its New Testament meaning. The book of Acts has far more in mind than having a good time with each other. It also means supporting each other in time of need or sorrow.

Certainly from what we read in the early chapters of the Acts of the Apostles the first Christian community thought of their fellowship in very practical terms. They shared their goods with each other. The giving of alms and works of mercy became a major function of the Church. Taking care of the poor, the elderly, and the sick became a specific ministry of the deacons (Acts 6:1-6). Still later we find Christians collecting alms on the first day of the week, the day which was already the day of Christian worship (I Corinthians 16:1-2). We do not know how this collection was made nor can we be sure that it took place during the service of worship. In the synagogue people usually put their alms in an alms chest at the door of the synagogue either on entering or leaving. Offertory processions during the service, however, seem to have come in much later.

The breaking of bread was the obvious expression for the sacrament of the Lord's Supper, which apparently was celebrated every Lord's Day from the very beginning. In the earliest days the Supper was celebrated in the evening, namely, the evening of the first day of the week. This expression was not necessarily limited to the sacramental meal. It was at these meals, however, that Jesus came to them, or, at least that is the way Luke seems to understand the story of the two disciples who shared a meal with Jesus in the inn at Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35).

Jesus seems to have made a point of sharing a meal with his disciples. There were several occasions in which Jesus fed a multitude. He seems to have done it as a sort of prophetic sign. The Last Supper was apparently the last of many suppers Jesus and his disciples shared together. Devout Jews in those days regularly met together on the eve of the Sabbath to share a meal and discuss matters of faith and devotion.

Another important sacred meal was the feast of Passover. The Last Supper as it is reported by the synoptic Gospels was an observance of the Passover feast and it seems to have been a prototype of the Lord's Supper (I Corinthians 11:23-26), for it was on the same night that Jesus was betrayed that Jesus instituted the sacrament, the Apostle Paul reminds the Corinthians. When Acts 2:42 speaks of the breaking of bread, far more was meant than a simple fellowship meal.

Finally, Acts 2:42 speaks about the prayers which the early Church maintained. As F. F. Bruce points out, the Greek text speaks of prayers rather than prayer and this probably implies prayer services, organized morning and evening, such as would normally be found in both the Temple and the synagogue. Even today, in Korean churches it is customary to hold morning prayer at the church every weekday morning. Hundreds of people attend these services.

There was a difference between the worship of the Lord's Day and the daily prayer services. The Lord's Day service would be much longer, to be sure, but even more than that, the Lord's Day service seems to have put an emphasis on preaching, especially preaching the heart of the Gospel, preaching the Word as Jesus had preached it, and recounting the story of his sacrificial death and victorious resurrection. The Lord's Day worship was also characterized by the celebration of the Lord's Supper. There seems to have been a strong link between the Lord's Day, the Lord's Supper, the Lord's Cup and the Lord's Table. Daily prayer, on the other hand, put the emphasis on prayer and praise. The psalms were sung. Prayers of supplication and intercession were offered and, no doubt, even in earliest times the Lord's Prayer was recited.

One of the first stories Luke tells us about the worship of the earliest Christians is the story of Peter and John going up to the Temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. As the Jews of that day reckoned it, that was the hour of evening prayer. Daily morning and evening prayer was an important spiritual discipline in the early Church. We would do well to reclaim it today.

Christian worship even today would do well to maintain this four fold service.

Hughes Oliphant Old, formerly pastor of Faith Presbyterian Church in West Lafayette, Indiana, teaches worship at Princeton Theological Seminary

10 Worship Guidelines from the Early Church

2010-09-14T14:28:00.001-07:00

So, I've recently become a big fan of Worship Leader Magazine. It's got some great, thought provoking material, and lots of practical helps too. I couldn't pass up reposting this article I read today. Good stuff.

10 Worship Guidelines from the Early Church - Dr. Lee Martin McDonald

1. Worship Involves Sacrifice
In New Testament times, worship consisted initially of sacrifice (of animals). However, the focus of worship for Christians is on self-sacrifice in honor and adoration of Christ (Mark 8:34-36). Worship appears to be the total response of grateful persons to the grace of God that comes to us in the work of Jesus Christ (see Romans 12:1-2). It is no longer related to the temple notion of animal sacrifice, but rather, in Christ the whole Church has become a temple and a priesthood inhabited by the Holy Spirit, or presence of God (see 1 Cor 6:19; Eph 2:19-22; and 1 Pet 2:9).

2. Worship Is Spiritual
Even though worship does involve rituals, our worship, from a New Testament perspective, is essentially spiritual (see 1 Pet 2:5; Rom 12:2). It was an internal attitude rather than a practice of external rituals. This understanding is also found in Isaiah 1:11-20 and Psalm 51:15-17.

3. However Worship Did Include Specific Practices
Some of the rituals in the New Testament include baptism (Matt 28:19); communion (1 Cor 11:23-34); laying on of hands (Acts 6:6; Acts 8:17; 13:1-3); foot washing (John 13:5-17); lifting up hands in prayer and worship (Luke 24:50; 1 Tim 2:8; see Psalm 134:1-2 and Ps 143:6); the reading of Scriptures (1 Timothy 4:13); and contributions for ministry to those in need (1 Corinthians 16:2). Because we are not given explicit instruction on how to practice these rituals, many variations of their practices emerged in the early churches. Of course, the early Church patterned much of its worship service after that of the Jewish synagogue service. Worship services at first were on the Sabbath (Saturday), but by the middle of the first century, many Christians were gathering regularly on the first day of the week (see 1 Cor 16:2; Acts 20:7; Rev 1:10) out of respect for the time of Christ's resurrection. At first, however, followers of Jesus in Jerusalem gathered daily in the Temple for prayers (Acts 3:46).

4. Worship Was Filled With Charismatic Praise
The offering of enthusiastic praise and prayer under the influence of the Holy Spirit was characteristic of the early Church's worship. This was demonstrated through speech (1 Cor 14:19) and tongues, or ecstatic speech (1 Cor 14:2, 6 ff.). Each person was given a manifestation of the Spirit for the common good (I Cor. 12:7) and to build up the body of Christ (Eph 4:11-15).

5. Worship Was Didactic
The early Christians were a teaching community giving instruction in their time of worship (see 1 Cor 12:8; 14:26; Eph 4:11; 1 Tim 3:2; 4:13; 5:17).

6. Worship Was Eucharistic
The early Christians were a community that was conscious of the need to give thanks to God (Eph 5:19-20; Col 3:17).

7. Worship Involved Koinonia
The Greek work, koinonia, means "sharing" or "participation" and is seen as the kind of giving in the fellowship that builds up the family of Christ (Acts 2:42-47). This is the focus of 1 Corinthians 12:1-7-each person was expected to come and share in the event of worship rather than simply listen to one person.

8. Worship Was Corporate
There was also a corporateness in worship in every sense (1 Cor 12:12-26). The church was consciously a body or a fellowship of persons who saw themselves as inextricably bound together as brothers and sisters in Christ.

9. Worship Included Music
The early Christians lifted their voices in praise to God. The New Testament frequently mentions the corporate singing which took place in their midst and also indicates some of their hymns and spiritual songs (e.g., Phil 2:6-11; Eph 5:19-20; Rev 4:8-11; 5:9-13).

10. Worship Included Singing and Songwriting
There are a number of hymns or spiritual songs in the New Testament literature. Among many others, here are examples of Christian spiritual songs: Eph 5:14 (three lines, first two rhyme in Greek, and the last is a promise), 1 Tim 3:16, Phil 2:6-11, Col 1:15-20, Heb 1:3. There are also the Nativity hymns in Luke: the Magnificat (1:46-55), the Benedictus (1:68-79), and Nunc Dimittis (2:29-32). Besides these, there are a number of well-known Christian hymns that date from roughly the early second century AD currently known as the Odes of Solomon, a collection of some 42 spiritual songs. One can see in all of these songs both praise and testimony to the greatness of God's activity in His son in Jesus the Christ.

All of the above hymns relate to the person and work of Jesus the Christ. They sometimes mention His pre-existence, or how He became a man and accomplished redemption (salvation) for the world through His suffering and death. The dominant motif in most New Testament hymns is that Christ is victorious over all of our enemies and is rightly worshiped as the image of God Who is over all.

The Good News
The above examples show us how the early Church lived out its life in worship of God. Worship, of course, was not a simple act done occasionally, but rather a way of life that involved one's complete dedication to honor Christ and give our complete lives to serve Him. Worship cannot be reduced to a few songs, a Scripture reading, a sermon, and a closing prayer. It is a whole life of submission to the call of God that comes to us in the proclamation of good news. Christian worship is good-news oriented, even when reflective music is sung. We serve a God who does not abandon His children when this world's challenges are overwhelming, but comes to us in all circumstances of life.

Lee Martin McDonald is the President Emeritus and professor of New Testament at Acadia Divinity College in Nova Scotia, Canada, and the President of the Institute for Biblical Research. He and his wife are now living in Mesa, Arizona.

Who I Want to Be When I Grow Up

2010-04-19T14:39:00.001-07:00

Have you ever sat down to think about who you want to be? Not WHAT, but WHO?

When life is over, people will talk about what you did, but most importantly, they will talk about what kind of person you were. Were you friendly, generous, wise, welcoming? Or will you be remembered as stoic, hot tempered, cynical, selfish?

I am writing this primarily for my own accountability, but maybe because you need it too.

In no particular order, this is who I want to be.

1. I want to be a good mother. I want to have kids who live happy and healthy lives, so I discipline them. I will always discipline my kids, because if I don't show them right and wrong, action and consequence, who will? I also hug and kiss my kids a lot. Kids who are shown affection won't go looking for it in the wrong places.

2. I want to be a good wife. I want to be faithful, supportive, respectful, encouraging, and challenging. I want to be all the things my husband needs to be the leader and man that God wants him to be (notice, I didn't say 'who I want him to be').

3. I want to emanate Godliness. I want people to know that I love God without having to ask. I want to be so loving and full of grace that there is no question what I believe and Who I love.

4. I want to speak truth. Not just tell the truth, but say it confidently. I want to be a person who shows that they believe in truth so that when I speak it to you, it holds the most weight it can.

5. I want to be self-controlled. I want to be a person who never gripes, never insults, and never gossips. If a person cannot control their tongue, they cannot control themselves.

6. I want to be generous. I want to be so faithful with my money that God blesses me with it so I can bless others. Nothing would make me happier than to be in a place where I see a need and am able to just write a check to fill it. That would be the greatest blessing I could ask for.

So now, it's your turn. Who do you want to be when you grow up? Post your thoughts!

Which way?

2010-04-19T13:13:00.000-07:00

I listened to a talk by Andy Stanley yesterday. One that I had heard by him before (in one form or another), but the subject matter never ceases to hit me in the face each time.

His point that was mentioned over and over was "Direction determines your destination." That should seem obvious to most of us, but the majority of us don't actually internalize what it means.

Imagine you were trying to get somewhere and you took your GPS, but every time it told you to turn, you just kept driving straight because you happened to like the scenery on that road a little more than the directed streets? You would never get where you wanted to go. No matter how far you drive North from Stafford, VA, you can never get to Florida. It just won't happen.

So why do so many people have the idea in their heads that they would like to be a person of Godly character, but make poor little choices again and again? I am not saying big things here, like murdering somebody or renouncing God, I'm saying little things. Skipping church a few times because you're just too tired. Choosing to go to a bar with your friends from work instead of Bible study one night. Chiming in when your friends are venting about their families about the most current grievance. Spending too much time with that guy/girl who's values aren't the same as yours... Who am I hurting? Seriously? It's not that big of a deal, I can handle myself just fine. Don't judge me...

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that...let's just say, I would have a bigger house, for sure!

Let's take a look:
- I want to be successful in my future job, so I'm skipping class today.
- I want to be a good person, so I'll try to get to church when I can.
- I want to help people in need, but I really need to make sure I have all I want first.
- I want to make good decisions, so I'm going to blow off my parents when they try to "tell me how to live my life." They probably have an ulterior motive or demeaning undertone when they say stuff like that anyway.
- I want to be somebody that people can come to when they are having a hard time, so
I'm going to complain about how awful my life currently is because it makes me more approachable.
- I want to have a great family, so I'm going to marry this guy/girl. It doesn't bother me that they have lots of baggage. Who doesn't? We can work it out later.
- I want to have a great sex life in my marriage, so I'd better practice now!

The entire book of Proverbs comes from a person who had the greatest judgment God's ever given a person, yet the little choices he made ruined his life. Just to name one, he married somebody because he 'really loved' her...so what if she has a different religion? I don't judge!.... We all know what happened after that.

Take a look at this. (My own remarks inserted).

Prov 1:22 "How long will you simple ones love your simple ways?

What I don't know won't hurt me, right?

How long will mockers delight in mockery
and fools hate knowledge?

I don't listen to those people. They just don't understand me.

23 If you had responded to my rebuke,
I would have poured out my heart to you
and made my thoughts known to you.

Yeah, I felt a tinge of guilt, but I shouldn't. I wasn't doing anything wrong.

24 But since you rejected me when I called
and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand,

25 since you ignored all my advice
and would not accept my rebuke,

Don't judge me.

26 I in turn will laugh at your disaster;
I will mock when calamity overtakes you-

27 when calamity overtakes you like a storm,
when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind,
when distress and trouble overwhelm you.

Why does my life just suck all the time?

28 "Then they will call to me but I will not answer;
they will look for me but will not find me.

It just doesn't feel like God listens to me.

29 Since they hated knowledge
and did not choose to fear the LORD,

30 since they would not accept my advice
and spurned my rebuke,

31 they will eat the fruit of their ways
and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.

32 For the waywardness of the simple will kill them,
and the complacency of fools will destroy them;

33 but whoever listens to me will live in safety
and be at ease, without fear of harm."

Take a bit of time today to assess what your life is directed at. More importantly, WHO do you want to be? I want to be a person who is remembered and known for their character, not for what I can do. I want to be a person who is known because I had the wisdom to speak into your life and did, not the people-pleaser personality who was more concerned about avoiding the awkward conversations.

Will the choices you are making, the friends that you have, the time that you spend, the goals you are making, will they NOW lead you there?

Can a person really love without God?

2010-02-23T09:51:00.000-08:00

This is a passage taken from a radio broadcast of Ravi Zacharais's program "Let My People Think" for the week of Feb 23.

Q: [From an anthiestic viewpoint a person may ask the question], “I love people, are you saying you can’t love people without God?”

A: I’m saying I’m very grateful that they love people, but they’re just proving that love is valid and people are valid as ends in themselves, and they are invalid in the naturalistic framework if we are the product of primordial slime. It is unjustifiable rationally. It may just be a cultural expression, but if it [love] is essentially good, it would have to be because God validates that love is the SUPREME ethic that God himself gives to us, “Faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love.” It is because God himself is love, and FROM God emerges the definition of love for us.

This question may then beg the next,"How can there be a loving God if there's evil in the world?"

If there is evil in the world, you must assume that there is good.

If there is good, there must be a moral law that determines that good.

If there is a moral law, there must be a moral law-giver.

If there is a moral law-giver then there is a responsibility to that law that every person carries, whether they are aware of it or not.

If there is someone who determines good, he must be loving.

If he is loving, he will not force people to love if they do not want to.

The presence of evil itself proves that it is a deviation from the standard of love that has been set by the loving Law-Giver.

Bucket List

2010-01-13T10:09:00.000-08:00

I really loved "The Bucket List" as I remember as I watch an interview with Morgan Freeman here in my living room. I am a dreamer, and highly unrealistic at times, but it's what keeps me going. The excitement of taking on a new challenge and seeing if I can do it or not. Thank God for Ben in my life or I'd be more than broke by now ;-).

1. Write a book.
2. Finish college
3. Finish grad school (either seminary or marriage and family therapy)
4. Adopt as many children as God will give us.
5. Pray my entire family into salvation.
6. Record my own album
7. Help plant a church
8. Get completely out of debt
9. Be in the financial situation where I can give as much money as is needed to support ministries, missionaries, and people who need it, whenever I want to.
10. Visit every continent
11. Learn Japanese
12. Paint portraits of everyone individually in my family.
13. Not be able to get through any conversation without mentioning Jesus/God at least once.
14. Learn how to fly.
15. Get my concealed weapons permit (for target shooting).

Well, that's all that comes to my mind at the moment, but I am sure I will think of more later. This will be so exciting to see things get checked off.

These are definitely not in any particular order, but I think it's important for me to see the goals that God has set before me. Being obedient to the Lord is the most important goal of my life, but it is also the hardest to achieve.

One thing I did not list (because it does not have an end point) is to become a person of prayer. I enjoy having conversations with God, but being a young mother, I have a peaceful heart, but not a quiet one. It is difficult to have any quiet time when a number of the things on my bucket list hang over my head.

Andy Stanley challenged us to think about what we want people to say about us when we die. at Passion 2010. Obviously I don't want to be remembered for achievements, I want to be remembered for my character. My next blog will be my "eulogy list."

As I learn to become more obedient, I will learn to be more still and satisfied in His presence... and that is all.

Going into the Fall

2009-08-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, well, it's pretty pathetic that one of my New Year's resolutions was to keep up with a blog this year... haha. My last post was from April 20, so I guess that resolution went out the window.

Life, at the moment, is never boring. Right now I am just riding out the rest of the summer, sleeping as much as I can in the anticipation of not sleeping for the next year or so. My student load is still kind of weak due to the summer slump, but people are steadily dripping back, so September will be a duzy.

Ah, September!

Noah will be starting preschool at Mount Ararat (I'm so proud). He's so excited, and I'm sure he will do great. He loves to learn new things, but my attempts have been pretty pointless because I'm the only one competing with all the other great distractions here at home. When he's in Sunday school and with other children he gets excited about what everybody else is excited about. I'm hoping that a year or so of that will help him learn to adjust to a structured environment for when we start kindergarten homeschool. He's so excited, though. We went out and bought him a Mario Cart lunch box, and he was so excited to show it off to everybody for the rest of the day.

September I will also be starting my classes again, once again trying to take a bite out of this undergrad degree that has been eluding me for the past 9 years. I am pretty sure I only have about 5 more classes to take, so if I can get a couple done before the baby gets here, then convince the department to let me do some work independently, I just may finish to graduate in May. ::sigh:: That would be so wonderful!

Speaking of the baby coming, we found out our little one will be a girl, so we've decided on the name Chloe. Chloe was on our list for if Noah was a girl, and just made it's way to the top this time. We are still contemplating middle names, but Ann and Rose are two of the contenders (both family names). We're still taking suggestions if anybody has them ;-).

Taking over Toluca Road has also been an adventure thus far. Of course, Summer is always sparse, both in attendance to Elevate, as well as availability of musicians, but I'm really excited about the people we have joining us this year. I will be even more excited when we have a full band to be practicing. We have a few welcome weeks off for the rest of August which will allow me to do some planning and organzing and decision making before we officially kick things off. I will be excited when we get to move into the new building at church, as well as getting a good repitoire of music together. God's going to do great things!

We are also gearing up for the next study with the young adult ministry, I-268. We just finished our two Summer studies, Song of Solomon and Francis Chan's "Crazy Love." Ben and I have been so encouraged with the attendance between both groups. We have had some great faithful participators between the two groups, and God has really taught us all some awesome things, while challenging us with some tough questions. The Song of Solomon class has also really stretched and challenged Ben and I to take a look at our marriage and how important it is to be living (and witnessing about) how God is a part of our lives and the reason our marriage works. It's definitely not perfect, but we are being sanctified, and sharing about our relationship has really helped us see that.

I am SO excited to see which people are going to be involved this school year and what we can do as a group to strengthen our core and start really establishing ourselves as a faithful ministry for our growing church and our community.

I would covet your prayers as we (as a family) go into this school year. We have a LOT of things that are weighing on our hearts, as well as a lot to be excited about, all of which are going to require a lot of prayer and a lot more energy and stamina than we currently have.

This may seem like a small thing, but I would ask for prayer that I be able to keep up with my housework and organzation this year. It seems like a trivial thing to pray about, but it keeps me awake at night, and it weighs really heavily on my mind when I don't feel like I'm keeping my household up to par, or being smart enough when it comes to fitting 4 people, a dog, and a fish in this little space. Tidyness has never been my strong suit, but it's important to me to make my best effort, so I am going to try my best not to "grow weary in doing good."

Hopefully next time it won't be so long between posts!

The "Next Blog" button

2009-04-20T18:49:00.001-07:00

Have you ever pressed the "next blog" button? I did and I found a buncha cool things.

I found pictures from a guy who had taken a train ride in India and all the pictures he took of the people and things from the train.

I found one of a company that made girly business logos.

A WHOLE LOT of people who speak Spanish or some variation of such (I think).

I've found a lot of aspiring fashion designers trying to sell their stuff.

I found one from a lady who rescues border collies and her stories of all their adventures. Very intriguing.

I've found a few Japanese sites too. I don't know what they are about, but I wish I did.

A lot of blogs for pictures of their kids.

Lots of jewelry designers. Very pretty stuff.

What did you find?

Long overdue

2009-04-10T20:05:00.001-07:00

As I sit here tonight I am by myself. Ben went to a birthday party for a good friend and co-worker who will be moving on soon, so I'm glad they're getting to hang out. It's extremely quiet at the moment, except for What Not to Wear blinking on my tv. I enjoy the quiet, but at the same time, it's kind of sad. Call me a cuke... it just is.

I have had a lot going on lately, especially since my last post.

Most notably, I have found out we are expecting our second child. Yes, this one WAS planned, fyi. I am completely thrilled with the anticipation of another little Noah running around. He has been the pride and joy of our lives, and many others, and I can't wait for another one. On the down side, I HATE being pregnant.

If you didn't know me when I had Noah, my pregnancy was really hard for me. I have a severe form of morning sickness that I can't pronounce (or spell), but it's basically so bad that if I am not medicated, I can't even keep water down. It's very painful, like if you've ever had food poisoning. I would rather dive into a swimming pool of razor blades than go through this nausea. Even medicated it's hard because I still have about 40% less energy, but 100% of my schedule still exists. I've always been able to make up for things in the evenings, but these days the medicine I take in the evening has a sleeping pill involved. Also, if I don't get enough rest in a day the medication doesn't help all that much. It's very frustrating.

It's even more frustrating because I feel like I am falling so far behind in my responsibilities, yet I can't keep up. My house is a mess, I'm super way behind in my school work (despite my professor's patience), and my students are no doubt feeling the effect of my inability to concentrate. It's very depressing to me to be unable to keep up and be efficient. My parents always taught me to be productive with the time and means that I have. At the moment, I don't feel like I can do much of anything, and my limits vary so much that I don't know from day to day what I can do.

I know that "this too will pass" but not knowing when, and anticipating that it will last as long as before (another 12 weeks), I am pretty bummed. If you think of it, I can use all the prayer I can get.

On the up side, I'm very excited about all the other things going on. I am excited to be part of the student ministry leading Toluca Road. I really love to worship and to lead it, and I am so excited to be able to lead very tallented musicians to understand more fully what it means to commit your lives and your passion to God.

Well, I have to be up early for Girl's group (which is awesome by the way too), and then to tackle that homework and the 8 page paper that's due Sunday! ......HELP.....

Trusting God

2009-03-17T20:18:00.000-07:00

So, God is taking me through a lot of things lately. Sadly, many of those things I can't really share with many people, which only makes the struggle more taxing. I had a lot of things hit my lap last week, and because of them I am tired, and spent, and frustrated, and afraid at times. But God knows.

God knew that I needed to hear the "Indescribable" talk from Louie Giglio a few weeks ago in Sunday school. He knew I needed to remember how infinitely huge he is and so far above the problems that I consider worth fretting over. He knew that I needed to remember that he works everything together for the good of those who love him. He also knew that I needed to be struck by John 16:33 posted on the bathroom wall in my dorm my freshman year, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (my emphasis added). I still remember looking at that verse scribbled on a piece of construction paper; something I would have ordinarily passed by.

I think the times that make me trust God most is when the things I need to pray about I cannot share with just anyone. Sometimes, those people are just not accessible at that moment, and that makes me feel more alone. Those are the times that remind me how sweet it is to have people who can help bear my burdens. I also know that God will quicken people to pray who may not know what they are praying for.

If you get the time today, pray that I would trust God. Please pray that I would have peace and also have the strength to do the things I need to.

Thank you friends.

Song of Solomon

2009-03-13T20:12:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple weeks Ben and I have been talking and thinking about which study the I-268 ministry should do after this church campaign is over. One that came to my mind, since we loved doing his Ecclesiastes study, was Tommy Nelson's Song of Solomon series.

Now, I don't recommend going through it the same way Ben and I did - engaged in a rather large group of people who had been married for many years... talk about awkward. But the actual videos were just incredible. Tommy Nelson just has the amazing ability to bring awe-inspiring light to the Bible.

The amazing thing about this series is that I believe it holds everything an unmarried person should know about marriage and romantic relationships. It is also just amazing that we were a little concerned about the fact that the series we watched was filmed back in '95 and so many of the pop-culture references are pretty dated. Lo and behold, when Ben goes to check it out at their website, they have a 10th Anniversary Edition, filmed in 2005! Updated references and all.

I am also stoked about the fact that the other bible study for young adults will be joining us too! I am so excited that so many people will be getting such invaluable information. You never really understand how much God knows about marriage and romance (and sex) until you actually take the time to study such a rich (and largely misunderstood) book as Song of Solomon.

Googling myself

2009-03-06T21:11:00.000-08:00

Dude, don't Google yourself.

I did, and oh my gosh... the first 4 PAGES of links are all ME. Like, nobody else in the world has my name apparently. I mean, seriously, there are even mentions of comments that I posted to people's guestbooks from years ago. You can see for yourself!

Google yourself today. See what comes up!!

I know I totally just contradicted myself, but I wanna see if everybody is as well-documented as I am! It would make me feel better if you were. :-)

I normally have a boring life...not today!

2009-03-06T14:22:00.001-08:00

Yeah, so this afternoon Jake decided to come hang out so he could use my internet to do some school. Good thing he did.

Noah and I had been home today, and I was also working on school finals.

About 1:30, Jake and I saw a pickup truck marked like it was a piano tuner, turn onto our street, followed by 2 cop cars and a silver mini van. All of a sudden we heard their engines rev, and looked outside to see 2 guys pull into my neighbor's drive and jump out. From there all three other vehicles pulled up and blocked the truck in. Out of these cars jumped 4 or 5 cops, some dressed in SWAT uniforms, and a couple in street clothes but having black ski masks over their heads, guns out. They catch the two first guys and arrest them, and take them away in their vehicles. I decided to take a shower and get ready in case anybody came by to question neighbors.

When I get out Jake tells me that there are cops at the house behind ours now. I look outside and there is a woman (I think) in handcuffs sitting on her back porch with another sheriff and a man in a full white haz-mat body suit (like the ones they wear in ET). They eventually took her away.

Jake and I are pretty sure it was a drug bust, and I am glad he was here! What if those guys had pulled in one driveway earlier? (mine!) What if they ran into our house? (holy tamales!) I like my usually uneventful days!

From the other side.

2009-02-25T09:30:00.001-08:00

Since Ben and I have been going through this series on marriage called "Love and Respect" and even just recently with many of our own friends, the question keeps coming back to me: If I could, what would I tell every single person?

That question is kind of easy to answer on the other side, but is absolutely no less real. I would tell them that they need to chase after GOD first, and make sure he's what their heart is aching for.

Far too many of my friends have spent their lives thus far gushing over the attention of an attractive guy who treats them well, and many of them have made very poor decisions in the midst of that excitement. When Scripture tells us that the heart is desperately wicked, it is completely true. It is oh so hard to fight such a deep level of attraction, because especially for girls, it speaks to a very deep need inside of us to be desired. We don't want to be in charge, we want to be chased after by a man whose longing is completed by only us. It's really incredible how deep that desire goes, and how easily we are strung along by anyone who meets part of the criterion. How tragic.

That desire and deep longing is there for a reason. God placed it in us because it IS supposed to be filled by something. God placed the capacity for us to desire something so strongly because he is the only one who can truly fill it. HE wants us to attach ourselves to him just as much as we want to be loved by him.

So, when would I say you're ready to find "the one" and get married? Not when you can't live without the person, but when you can't live without God. When your love and affection is so deep for God that His desires become your desires. And when His desires become your desires, you will desire the very best thing that God can bring you. When that guy/girl comes into your life, you will know that it was God who brought them in, and not you willing them in.

I was talking to my best friend who is getting married, and right after she had gotten engaged she asked me, "Did you ever have doubts? Did you ever have really strong doubts that you were only following your feelings and you were possibly making the worst mistake of your life?" Honestly, I said yes. I had all those thoughts run through my brain, many times. The way I knew that it was what God wanted was that He kept working things out. Even when I was unsure, God would bring things together. An impossibility with the wedding would work out, a fight that we would have would be reconciled, a family member would speak a word of encouragement. It became obvious to me, completely outside of my feelings, that God wanted this to happen. THAT is the kind of assurance I want every single person to have. That is what I needed, as a woman, was the release that I wasn't going to have to bear the weight of keeping that relationship together. God was going to do it. I was no longer asking God if it was the right thing to do, I was asking God to make me the best kind of wife I could be.

During this Lent season, I am going to try to post every day what God has been showing me. All the glory be to Him, and be to his love for us.

Dreams?

2009-02-20T00:31:00.000-08:00

So, it's about 3:30am and I'm just now getting tired. Maybe I'll go to sleep after this, but I was thinking I should write about this first.

What do you dream about? Not in the feel-good life-purpose way, but literally dream at night? I know there's lots of ways to analyze dreams and people also put some spiritual meanings to them, but mine simply never mean anything outside of my own head.

I dream like I'm in 24 or something. Seriously. Most of the time it's me kicking the tamales out of bad guys, or stunt driving, or acting all covert and junk.

For example, last night I drempt that I was with a couple and the wife was in labor. Somehow we were being held captive in this big old office building type thing (very 24ish) by some kind of terrorists. Not Arabs or anything, just regular old bad guys. I sent the husband to go find the keys to the later model Mercedes parked outside, while I tried to get the wife safely out of the building, which meant a little kung fu action on this punk Russian chick. I also remember beating up at least 3 other guys dressed in regular black, and I'm pretty sure I wailed somebody over the head with a folding chair (and I don't even watch WWE).

Anyways, I don't dream too often, so when I do, I try to enjoy them. I let my imagination turn these action dreams into what I think would be awesome movies, and I'm only disappointed when I am awakened by Hurley barking at the birds on the birdfeeder, or Noah screaming "Moooooom-my! Beak-fas!" (loosely translated, he's hungry).

What do you think? I think I watch too much tv....

How we got the Bible

2009-02-19T12:49:00.000-08:00

This is a paper I wrote a few weeks ago for my church history class. I learned a whole lot, so to my relief, I also got a good grade on it. Hope you enjoy!

“Since the first Christians were Jews, Christianity was never without a canon, or as we say, Scripture. Jesus himself clearly accepted the Old Testament as God’s word to man.” (Shelley 1995) Since God’s people were never without a Scripture, we are going to examine what the guidelines for addition to the Old Testament writings as the young church began to establish its canon, or “measuring stick” for the teachings of Christ and the inclusion of Gentiles into God’s plan of salvation. Through the many years, amidst persecution, the writings of the Apostles were considered so essential to the Christian faith that heretical writings and doctrines were introduced many times, upon the insistence that their letters or books were penned with the same authority of inspiration of God. Many of these issues were settled by assemblies of church leaders or “councils” called to render a decision. Then, coming to the finished product of what we know as the Bible.

Use of Councils
The first mention of a council being called to determine a point of church doctrine is in Acts 15. Paul and Barnabas were made aware of this, and they entered into what the Bible describes as “sharp dispute and debate with them.” (v.2) Paul and Barnabas were then elected to go see the Apostles and elders in Jerusalem and discuss it with them. They explained that Jews had come and were insisting that the new Gentile believers must also be circumcised and follow the law of Moses to be born again. Some of the Pharisees who were also in Jerusalem agreed. After the discussion, it was agreed that the Gentiles were not under this “yoke” and that it would be necessary to write a letter from them, explaining that it is not upholding the law or physical signs that determine your salvation, but it is through repentance and faith.
The church leaders do not simply leave it at that. Not meaning to be misunderstood in the opposite extreme, they choose to include “Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood.” (v. 20) It was important that the Gentiles see a clear line drawn between living “in” the world and being “of” the world. Because there was no Christian culture affecting their daily lives, it was important to begin drawing the boundaries for what kinds of things were God honoring, or not.

This passage of Scripture was a great example of how God worked through the system of church leadership right from the beginning. Paul and Barnabas had the right answers, but they knew it was not something that could be handled by mere strength of will. Authority had been given to leaders, and they trusted God’s hand in their decisions.
Building the New Testament

So, how did we get what is today known as the Bible? Bruce Shelley lists several criterion for the organization of the 27 books known as the New Testament.
“First, the books that are Scripture and are truly the Word of God have about them a self-evidencing quality…They have always exercised, and still exercise, an unparalleled power upon the lives of men.” (Shelley 1995) Shelley goes on to describe the conversion of Justin Martyr who was already searching for truth when he met an old man who urged him to study the Jewish prophets. He did, and accepted Christianity as a result.

“Second, certain Christian books were added to Scripture because they were used in Christian worship.” (Shelley 1995) An example of this would be Col 4:16 where Paul urges the Colossians to pass his letter along once it had been read to them. He also mentions that Justin Martyr writes (in the mid second century) a description of a Christian service where “On the day called the Day of the Sun all who live in cities or in the country gather together in one place, and the memoirs of the apostles or the writings of the prophets are read, as long as time permits; then, when the reader has ceased, the president verbally instructs, and exhorts to the imitation of these good things. Then we all rise together and pray.”

“Third, and perhaps the fundamental reason behind a Christian book’s acceptance into the New Testament, was its ties to an apostle.” (Shelley 1995) Was it written by an apostle, or at least by someone who was very close to an apostle themselves? Those men who were disciples of Jesus himself were the most highly respected men when it came to matters of church doctrine. They were filling the role of authority that Christ had trained them for during his earthly ministry.

In the process of compiling what we today call the New Testament, some people had their own ideas of what should and should not be included in the Scriptures including Marcion (about A.D. 140). He picked and chose which books he liked based on the fact that he felt that the God of the Old Testament loved the Jews exclusively, but the Christian’s God showed himself in the form of Jesus, and He was a loving and compassionate God. This caused Marcion to throw out the Old Testament, as well as books and passages in the New Testament which he thought favored the Jews. He also elevated Paul to an almost God-like position, since he was the Apostle to the Gentiles. His grouping of written works were Because Marcion was misinterpreting Scripture to fit his beliefs, it created a difficult situation for the church who did not want to endorse his teachings, but also did not want to do away with those important writings. “The church chose, instead, to restore the Pastorals and the letters of the other apostles and to link all the letters to the four Gospels by using the Book of Acts as the bridge.” (Shelley 1995) They also included all of the Old Testament because “Does the New Covenant make sense without the Old?” (Shelley 1995)

Gnosticism was one of the first great threats to true doctrine. The term “Gnostic” means “knowledge” from its Greek root. The basic thought behind Gnosticism was that there were two states of being: physical and spiritual. The physical was evil, and the spiritual was good. A creator God would then be considered evil because a holy God could not have any contact with the physical world. They therefore believed that Jesus could not have been fully man and fully God, so it was taught that his spirit descended into the body of Jesus at his baptism, and withdrew at his arrest. (Martinez 2002)

The Christian Age of Rome
Because of these heretical doctrines the church was forced to define and redefine itself based on the authority of the Apostles as well as with shorter creeds which both gave the illiterate believers something brief but thorough to condense the doctrine of the Scriptures, as well as creating a standard by which all other writings and theories would be tested.

With the conversion of Constantine in 312, the church was allowed to flourish, but with this new freedom also came heretical teachings from outside sources. One such event was the condemnation of the teachings of a man named Arius in 320. Alexander, the bishop of Alexandria, met with a council of local bishops in which he condemned the teachings of Arius on the relationship between God the Father and Jesus. Arius taught that Christ was a “quasi-god” or representative of the Father. He taught that there was a point in time when God created Jesus, and that he was much lower in the hierarchy, and not God at all, but holding more of a position of a great archangel. To Arius, Jesus was the greatest creation ever, but not divine. Arius appealed after he had been condemned and excommunicated.

Constantine called for a council of all bishops to meet in Nicaea to resolve the issue in 325, also known as the First Ecumenical Council (Bingham 2002). These 318 bishops, as well as Constantine himself, met and agreed that Arius had been treated fairly, but they also agreed on a statement of faith in response to the event. From this council we get the historical Nicene Creed:
We believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of all things, visible and invisible. And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten of the Father, that is, begotten of the substance of the Father, God from God, light from light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, of the same substance as the Father, through whom all things were made in heaven and earth; who for us humans and our salvation came down, took flesh, and was made human, suffered and rose again on the third day, ascended into heaven, and will come to judge the living and the dead. And in the Holy Spirit.

The Apostle’s Creed was also assembled around the same time and both are still used even to today. Following this event, church leaders condemned anyone who said there was a time when Christ did not exist. Although Constantine’s suspicions of being fooled eventually made him order the church to reverse their condemnation of Arius, it was only short lived because Arius soon died and Constantine himself also passed away the year following.

The Second Ecumenical Council was convened by the emperor Theodosius I to unify Christianity to fill in what was left unsaid about the Holy Spirit. They ratified the Nicene Creed with some small changes, and the amendment to the passage above was to identify the Holy Spirit as “one in substance with the Father and the Son.” (Bingham 2002) The amended creed was known as the Creed of Constantinople. Alister McGrath said “These creeds are intended to remind believers of the basic themes of their faith, and enable them to avoid false teachings…” (McGrath 1997) These were essential to believers of the time since the vast majority of people were illiterate.

The Finished Product
Through each of the events and councils that have been mentioned, the church has moved closer and closer to what we know now as the New Testament. Via the appearance of heresies and other threats to the doctrine and practices of the church it was forced to define clearly not only what was considered scripture, but what the boundaries were for how that scripture would be interpreted.

We did not get the canon of the New Testament in its current form until the fourth century although all of the gospels and most of the letters had already been used quite frequently in the churches by the time of Tertullian. The first list of the 27 books that we have record of was written by Athanasius, the Bishop of Alexandria in a letter to his people in 367. These books were confirmed by the councils at Hippo in 393 and Carthage in 397. (Hill 2006)

The oldest known copy of the Bible currently rests in the Vatican in Rome, and is known as the Codex Vaticanus. This copy contains most of the Old Testament, but also is missing some of the New. The oldest complete copy of the Bible is called the Codex Sinaiticus and is held at the British Library in London. (Hill 2006)

Conclusion
It was important that the Bible was organized in the fashion that it was because it did two things.

First, it forced the church to unify over the basics of the Christian faith and create uniformity in its message and practices. Unity and uniformity created stability for the church and its people in the first centuries of its existence.

Second, it was a symbol to the believers of the day of God’s blessing on the structure of leadership that had been created. Giving responsibility and accountability through the development of creeds as well as the Bible made the point that God uses his people to reveal his will. The scriptures are not something you can read and draw your own conclusions from, and through the appearance of heresies, this principle was made plain. God’s desire is that his church be united in love, and by trusting the interpretations of those with deeply rooted accountability, believers can draw deep (and sound) conclusions from what is read and taught.

This is awesome

2009-02-13T09:40:00.001-08:00

This made me laugh very hard. Next time you get towed, remember this lady.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIpvH71Pclg

My angry rant

2009-02-12T18:40:00.000-08:00

So, I've had this cold for a few days now, and I've been even more miserable than usual. I took my Tyenol Cold, expecting that it would dry me out and all would be well in my sinuses. Well, it wasn't. It was awful, needless to say. I was progressively more miserable, all while trying to go about the rest of my hectic schedule.

Well, I come to find out.... the kind of medicine that works is called Tylenol Cold: Severe Congestion. The kind I bought from the store the other day was Tylenol Cold: Congestion Severe.... WHAT THE CRAP?!?! All this time I was expecting glorious relief, and the light of hope at the end of the tunnel that apparently only exists in my ears....BUT NO!!! They pulled an awful prank on this poor individual, and make a type of cold medicine that in fact produces NO relief whatsoever.

Tylenol.... you all should be ashamed.

And what's up with colds anyways? You're not sick enough to stay home and go to bed, but you're sick enough to be miserable while you do everything else. Colds suck.

Life...

2008-10-20T23:44:00.001-07:00

Well, now, as it is 2:43 am and I am not the least tired... I will write a blog.

A lot has happened in the past few months. I'll elaborate while my photos download...

I began to take classes (once again) to attempt to finish my undergrad. Goodness, it's a lot of work, but not nearly what I had been anticipating. Thankfully, the way LU has online classes structured, each semester is split into two sub semesters, therefore allowing you to take 4 classes (3 credits each), but only two at a time, therefore maintaining full-time status. Let me tell you... SO MUCH LESS WORK than real college! It's just fantastic.

I switched my major to religion, since I could not very well keep a music major, and I absolutely LOVE it. Religion? What can you do with a degree in religion, you ask? Well, about as much as you could do with a music major... not much.

My intention is to finish and then slowly begin doing graduate work to eventually practice marriage and family therapy. My heart just breaks for the families I see falling apart, particularly in this area. Since both Ben and I's professions rely primarily on reputation, there is a good chance we will live here the rest of our lives (which I am totally ok with). I have a huge burden for marriages and families that are broken and the utter desperation that accompanies. I also know that since God created the universe, you cannot simply fix relationships by treating the symptopms (as most therapists do), but you have to attack the deep problem of sin in people's lives. THIS is going to be the hardest part. Not simply because of the spiritual warfare that happens, but because a licensed practicing therapist in VA will be closely monitored by the state. Any complaints or rumors may very well cost me my license someday, but this is the price we all as Christians must pay. God knows there's a need and I am trusting that he will use me as much as possible for as long as possible, but only as long as I am willing to rely on Him and submit to His leading.

My other goal, and I would hasten to say is more important than the first, is my desire to help orphans. I have a deep, deep longing to be a parent to those who have none, and a voice for the unborn. I have always been pro-life, but since my son was born, I have a real-life example of God's unconditional love who looks me in the face every day with his tiny trusting eyes. I cannot bear the thought (in fact I almost cry on a daily basis) to think of children like Noah who weren't loved into this world, or who were abandoned or forsaken once they arrived.

My heart just aches in the deepest sense of the word, so much I can hardly breathe at times. I want to do something about it. I want to adopt as many children as possible. I want to help provide homes to those children who have none. I want to fight to make any and all forms of abortion illegal. I am not sure yet how all of these goals can be achieved, but I know God put this fire there for a reason, and as He has taught me to do, I will chase after it every day. May I never forget those faces that haunt my thoughts and dreams.

On a lighter note, I have recently pulled out more significantly from the music ministries at church for a few reasons. Ben was recently asked to begin a new young adult/college age Sunday school which is quickly blossoming into a full ministry (now called "I-268"). Ben told me how he wanted this to be something we did together, since we had a great example of a couple working side-by-side in the Jordans when we met through their ministry. Since Ben also teaches a combined high school sunday school (which is very well attended) I have also been able to help a little with support and small group leading. I just love high schoolers, drama and all! I am also super excited about the connections being made in anticipation of the crossover from high school to our college ministry. If we can do anything to discourage the disconnect that happens when people graduate, we are excited to address it!

I am just so encouraged by the feedback from people, and although we are few, the depths that have been reached in the I-268 Sunday morning and Tuesday evening groups has been really great. Every group needs those core few who come, participate, and make their faith a way of life durring the week. We are really blessed to have that, and it makes me really excited for the future. One of the things that college ministries need to understand when they get involved is the incredible turnover and transfer rate. Most college students are only involved over the summers, and some of the breaks, while those locals are in a constant state of flux between jobs, community college, and getting married. You must be ready and willing to be immediately friendly, deeply concerned, and frequently available.

I really feel as though pulling out of regular participation in Sunday worship band has been the right choice, however hard of a decision it was. I am very excited to see what develops from our new worship pastor, but I am excited to see it happen without my hands in it. God has been teaching me a lot the past few years about simply being ok with not being involved in everything. He knows how deeply I throw myself into my commitments, and how personally I take the success or failure of them. I have got to say, just as the Bible constantly reminds, there is freedom in letting go. And how sweet that is!

Ok, well I could write a few thousand more words, but it's 3:20 am and my pictures are done downloading. Maybe more later!

2008-09-02T20:07:00.000-07:00

I have been discouraged in the past, as have many others, on the corruption and apathetic disposition of the republican party.

As many others also, I grew up republican because we believed in a cause larger than ourselves. We believed in serving a country that was larger than us, and which was founded upon faith in a God that was larger than us.

I have always felt that things like standing up to terrorists, tyrants, ignorance, and evil that never sleeps. I was raised to believe that if something is wrong, if someone cannot stand up for themselves, if there are people who are fainting from the weight, it is our responsibility to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.

I have been renewed with inspiration in the last few days. Yes, McCain was not the favorite conservative, but after listening to stories of his life (where HIS experience comes from) I am once again PROUD to be an American. I am proud to know that people are still around who love their country enough to give away 5 years of their life to unbelievable torture, and THEN to return home to heal, and go right back to fighting for the rest of his life.

This is a man who would choose a wife of such character who would bring him home an infant, to love and raise as their own, that had no hope for life. To choose a running mate who respects life so much that she would not only celebrate the life of her own child with special needs, but would equally welcome and celebrate the life of her growing grandchild. A grandchild whose method of conception is the very reason thousands of its generation have been destroyed.

It is just about time that we got our minds off of our own pathetic lives and make them useful serving something so much greater than ourselves. Until we come to realize that it is never "all about us" will we only begin to scratch the surface of what humanity is capable of with the Lord's help.

What a blessed nation we are. What an awesome privilege we have to have the firm foundation and strength to stand for those who cannot.

I am tired of people telling us how wrong and corrupt America is. I'm tired of people telling me that my life is worse than I really believe it to be. I am tired of hearing that there is no hope for peace, so we may as well go stick our heads in the sand. I'm tired of hearing that those who criticize us are not only right, but they are people we should aspire to be. People we should embrace and give our trust to.

The real truth is that America gives more in charitable donations and aid than the rest of the world combined, and has so for many years. Americans have won the war in Iraq, thanks to the wise leaders who have fought to see that our people in uniform have the resources and support to save those condemned to genocide and terror. Americans are blessed to have the drive and available resources to renew our economy by seeing potential rather than failure. Americans are tired of giving money to a government that spends it on gas-guzzling motorcades, private jets, and brown-nosing parties.

The men of our country used to fight for their families, on their own. We had men who not only owned guns, but used them to protect their families and neighbors. Now people want us to believe that owning a gun is like owning a brick of cocaine: disgraceful and ignorant.

People used to teach their children the things one should know to be a respectful member of society, now it is the expected thing for you to turn him over to people who can raise your child better than you can... because they have a paper that "says so".

People used to believe that hard work could get you anywhere, and using your brain would take you places beyond that. Now we hear that someone always has it out for us, so why not let the government take care of you for free? You deserve to feel sorry for yourself and live off people who (in some way) owe you something.

I want to live in a country that is proud to be blessed, proud to work hard, proud to teach well, proud to fight well, proud to respect others, and humble enough to know we can't do it on our own.

2008-07-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

I would really like to get some feedback on the issue I will present here. I do have an answer, but this question just begs an answer.

In Matthew 6:13, Jesus is teaching his desciples what we refer to today as the Lord's Prayer. In verse 13, he says "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."

So, here's the question. Does God "lead us into temptation"? After this question was posed in a Sunday school lesson Ben taught, there was a resounding "no" from the majority of the students. They said they based this on James 1:13 where it says "When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone..."

Ok, that's a good answer, but what about just earlier in Matthew 4:1 "Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil."

I do have an answer for this, I just want to leave this up here to see if anyone has thoughts before I post my response. Happy searching!!

Geez...

2008-07-02T10:59:00.000-07:00

As I am approaching the end of my theology class this week, I can only sit back and scratch my head as I continue to think about the issues we have talked about. I am finding myself quite befuddled as to issues that I had once been clear in my position.

We are going through a very well-written book called "Across the Spectrum" which highlight 18 different issues that have divided believers into 2-3 schools of thought each. Issues such as the inspiration debate between inerrantists and infallibilists, the providence debate between calvinists and arminians, the Genesis debate between the young earth view, day-age view, restoration view and literary framework view, the divine image debate between substantivistic, functionalistic and relationalistic views, etc. Wow... seriously... wow. I have thurougly enjoyed reading the book because each view is summarized in an essay citing it's Biblical argument, supporting arguments and response to objections. These summaries are excellent in their clarity as well as avoiding inflamitory language.

I would ask that you all pray for me. I have been drug through the mud on some of these issues. It is a strange place to be in where you know what you know until you don't really know anymore. Now, granted, many of the issues I now stand more firm than ever, like in regards to women in leadership, creation (the time elapsed, not the method of), the inspiration of the Bible, eternal security, destiny of the unevangelized, hell (classical vs. annihilationism), baptism and the charismatic gifts. But on issues like God's foreknowledge, sanctification, and eschatology, I'm very thrown. Both sides have very valid Biblical reasoning, and both sides take some passages a little too far in regards to claiming implied truth. If you are a person who enjoys studying these types of issues, I would greatly encourage you to read this. Please do not read and consider these issues without the guidance of someone who has achieved a significant level of spiritual maturity.

The importance of this course and my jurney with God is that I might know that I know and to enjoy learning of Him and His ways. If anyone would like me to expound on any of these issues, let me know. I would love the challenge. I may just do it even if no one asks!

What if?

2008-06-25T08:39:00.001-07:00

Since I am taking classes in religion, I am finally getting to read some of the books and articles on subjects I have been wanting to study for some time now. I also love to go on Amazon and read the reviews of the books I am reading. I think those are way more entertaining than the books in most cases. It also gives you a big look into the thoughts of those on the "other side." I don't mean other side to be derogatory, but honestly, they are hilarious at times.

I am a personal fan of Dr. James Dobson. I love his books, as well as his ministry and radio show. It is so interesting though that he is such a controversial person. I actually hate the word "controversial" because it is used by moderates to avoid being controversial... go figure. Anyways, if you ever get a moment, go to Amazon and read the reviews of each of his books. I like reading the bad reviews first to see if any of them hold water... and they usually don't. Reading a review of "What wives wish their husbands knew about women" a reviewer says "The only woman who could be 'explained' by this nonsense is one who's been brainwashed by patriarchial idelolgy, and there are quite a few of that type in America (and in Saudi Arabia, and in Afghanistan, and ....)." Now, I will let you read the book for your self, but I assure you, this person is nuts. And by the way, that was from a man. Dr. Dobson's "Bringing Up Boys" would be a great book for him to read about the "feminization of men" in America. Need I say more.

The thing that continues to baffle me, though it shouldn't, is the way sin has a hold of humanity. Whether it is in the form if blatant liberalism, or simply the apathetic mindset that is so prevalent, it never ceases to amaze me. Again, many of you will probably read this and agree that this is simply my opinion that has been "indoctrinated" by my Christian parents who made me believe what I do and therefore I "never learned to think for myself." I am so sick of this, it literally makes me nauseous. Can people caught in sin think of nothing better than to try to disclaim their challengers? When you listen to radio or tv, or any such media outlet, the most prevalent idea you hear is that everything is somebody else's fault. Someone is to blame. Somebody must be held accountable. Somebody must do something about this! What a waste of what little fresh air the earth still has (apparently) than to blame someone else.

As I was reading my assigned chapters from "Fool's Gold" by John MacArthur, one of the phrases we had to remember for the exam was the definiton of maturity. The definition is humility - thinking of others before yourself. What a novel concept!

But, of course, in America, if you don't take everything personally, you won't have things the way you want them, right? That guy cut me off! Could the waitress take any longer? We were in line first! They were late for the meeting, don't they understand how valuable my time is?

These phrases just hurt my heart. They seem well justified at the time. The waitress brought out the food late - no tip. They didn't take the $1 discount off my shirt - time to complain to the manager. What I ordered wasn't exactly what I wanted - return it and demand a full refund. Where do people get off thinking they deserve anything at all? But, I'm the customer, I deserve to have the best service! Says who? It's your money? No it's not.

Maybe it's just Northern Viriginia (and some have told me this is true), but I have never seen a more selfish group of individuals. And all because in a richer area, everyone thinks they're entitled to "respect" and "quality." After that respect and quality go away, what do you have left? Yes, you could complain to the manager, but what does that accomplish? The manager is embarassed and insulted, and you feel vindicated? Vindication is the most overrated and useless thing this world seems to offer. It doesn't last, it surely doesn't make you feel any better, and it doesn't change anyone's life.

"Vengance is mine, says the LORD." That has so many levels. Yes, it feels good for the moment to make someone pay for what they did (to you, of course). But they don't go away actually feeling sorry for what they've done. Now, all they think is that you are a jerk, and you just ruined their day. The vicious cycle continues.

When the Lord tells us that vengeance is his, it doesn't mean that you just have to give it up and let God do something about it if he feels like. "... But if I do that, God may just forgive them! How awful would that be!" The wrath of God comming upon the wicked is the most horrible suffering beyond our immagination. If we take out our wrath on someone, you have just told God that you are stronger than he is, and that your will is more important than his... Just think about that for a second...

Well, say, God should forgive them. Is not God completely justified to do whatever he wants? He forgave you, didn't he? I feel like Christians who have fallen into this mindset are exactly like the brother of the prodigal son who felt insulted that his brother had been forgiven. Didn't he deserve something? He was ALWAYS faithful. Why wasn't he getting what he deserved... first?

Oh, what a wonderful world this would be if we always lived with the view that everyone we came into contact with was being worked on by the Lord. Just the simple thought that God was trying to get through to each and every person you came into contact with, and you are part of that. What if we all understood how important the interactions we have with eachother are to God's purpose for their lives? "Who am I, that you should be mindful of me?" Lord, never let me be the one obstructing your work in someone's life.

What if we all forgave?

2008-05-23T20:25:00.001-07:00

Molly Bostleman is awesome. That is all.

Ecclesiastical look at Philippi

2008-05-22T07:43:00.001-07:00

Today I was so excited to start my homework....

Woah, I never thought I would expect to hear those words out of my mouth....er..fingers....

Anyways, yesterday I was listening to my lecture for my church ministries class, and let me tell you, ecclesiology is totally fascinating to me! We've been studying Philippians, and it is mighty interesting!

Paul did not initially intend to go into Macedonia, but he had what they call a "Macedonian vision" leading him there (Acts 16:9 During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, "Come over to Macedonia and help us"). Philippi was a colony of Rome, mostly a place where faithful servants of Rome went to retire. People like soldiers, officials, governors, etc., were promised a piece of land in or near Philippi to retire from their faithful service. They were all very highly protective of rumors of rebellion or anything that sounded anti-Rome because it would threaten the stability of their pensions.

Christianity had still been accepted at this time because it was still lumped in as a sect of Judaism, and at that time Rome was not accepting any "new" religions.

But that all is not the most interesting thing. When you read through Acts 16, you discover how Paul met those who would be the foundation for the Philippian church. Because Philippi did not have a large amount of Jews, there was no tabernacle, so Paul and his companions went down to the river to pray with some other women who were worshipping God there. He met a rich woman named Lydia there who invited them all back to her house for food after her and her whole household accepted the Gospel and were baptized.

Soon later, they are met by a girl possessed by a demon who made money fortune telling. She spent the next several days following them around saying "These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved." Doesn't sound so bad, except that she was saying all this to mock Paul and his companions. After several days, Paul had just had enough and he commanded the spirit to come out of her. This would ordinarily be great, but when her masters found out that she could no longer make them any money, they had Paul and Silas taken to court where they were beaten and thrown into prison. Big mistake, since Paul was a roman citizen, which meant he could not be beaten in public. This was very embarrassing once the officials found out their mistake. But, I digress.

Once Paul and Silas were in prison, everyone knows the story of how they were singing songs and there was an earthquake that broke their chains loose and the cells were opened. This was very bad for the guard on duty who would loose his life if he lost any prisoners. Since Paul and Silas stayed, the guard was so overjoyed, he accepted Christ right there and took them home where he washed their wounds himself and fed them as well, and all of his household believed too.

I only go into their stories because I am so intrigued that God would start a church with this. If you wanted to start a church, and you went to your pastor to tell him this, he would ask you who your base group was. You would be saying "Well, we've got this rich lady who believes, and she can fund our church for a little while. Get it up and running. Then, we've got a guy who used to be a cop. He is a very new Christian, but we think he's gonna work out. We've also got this girl who used to be crazy, but she's better now, and she believes too." Your pastor would look at you kinda funny. I would too!

But it is so incredible to see that eventually it is seen 10 years later (when the book of Philippians is written to the church) that the church has indeed grown and flourished! Some would even say Philippi was one of Paul's favorite churches.

How crazy is it that God would choose such a hodge-podge of different people with different spiritual backgrounds, and even of such shallow maturity to begin His spread of the gospel to the world? Makes you feel very humbled, to the depths of humiliation at times, that God would choose to use you and I to do His work.

Crazy, huh?

Thoughts on Worship

2008-05-21T11:32:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to start a blog that I actually stick to, and I have ideas all the time, but I never remember them long enough to write them down, so here goes.

This whole search for a worship pastor has been hard in many ways. It has also been refreshing in many ways. In my opinion, I’ve seen many things.

When there is no leader, there are still just as many issues and squabbles as there are when one is present. There are still as many days where there has not been enough direction, and days when there has been plenty of direction. There have been days when things worked, and things didn’t.

My prayer is simply that people are asking God what HE wants, not asking each other what they want.

Of all the times I have led worship in the past few years, I have adopted a view that helps me get through every single time: If I am not thoroughly convinced and secure in the fact that God will get what he wants out of that worship time, then God will NOT get what he wants and He would have been robbed of His glory. Not because things didn’t go right, or because someone didn’t do their part, but simply because we do not give to God what is rightly His.

One verse that sticks out to me all the time is John 4:23 “But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and truth: for such doth the Father seek to be his worshippers.”

That verse tells us exactly what God is looking for! He wants to be worshipped in spirit and in truth!

Spirit, meaning He wants our heart and our whole self to be into it. A time you commune with the Lover of your soul. The sweetest experience you can muster, whether it is full of hurt, or full of peace, or any other emotion God chooses to speak to. He wants all of you, not just the part that has a good time in church.

Truth is the most passed over term God gives here as a description of worship. I know I don’t think I’ve been in any worship planning meetings where the question was asked “how can we worship God in truth this time?” It seems to be a given, and so it is overlooked. I believe it is a deep subject with many levels, but it can be simply put: God wants us to worship Him for who He really is and not for what our psyche would like him to be that day. Truth means seeking to understand and glorify the hard parts of God, like his justice, and his vengeance, and his jealousy for His own glory and fame. We like to worship the God that makes us feel good, but that is only the beginning of our relationship with Him, and we must work to deepen that knowledge and relationship. “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”

My personal vision of the best worship I can give God is to pray and search, as often as I am reminded, that he would fill my thoughts and my heart and my flesh with the deepest desire to chase after the knowledge of Him, and to commune in that place as long as I have breath.

My heart rejoices in the knowledge that God gets what He wants. Whether it is through me, or despite me, He receives the glory and the honor that He desires. Oh, that I would never be a defiant stone the Holy Spirit must remove as He goes throughout the earth.